Reflections- Love and the pain of leaving
"Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we love most cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving. When the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaves for a long period of time, or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country or dies...the pain of the leaving can tear us apart. Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.
Many parents have to suffer the death of a child, at birth or at a very young age. There probably is no greater suffering than losing a child, since it so radically interferes with the desire of a father and mother to see their child grow up to be a beautiful, healthy, mature and loving person. The great danger is that the death of a child will take away the parents' desire to live. It requires an enormous act of faith on the part of parents to truly believe that their children, however brief their lives, were given to them as gifts from God, to deepen and enrich their lives.
Whenever parents can make that leap of faith, their children's short lives can become fruitful beyond their expectations." - Henri J M Nouwen
Sometimes I wonder if I am an extreme case of being an anxious parent in that I used to check on my kids 10+ times throughout the night, just to make sure they're still breathing! Loving others (and surviving it) does indeed require a lot of perseverance and faith.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll admit to scaring the c__p outta myself on more than 20 occasions when my babies were draped over me sleeping so soundly that they were cold and still. I panicked, shrieked and shook them until I was reassured by some reactive movement. I think it has something to do with loving them so much that I fear losing them more than almost anything else. Despite that ... I REALLY look forward to going through it again!
B-)