Day 60 (Pentecostal Sunday, 4th June 2006): Today is Special. It marks the 60th day of mummy's passing. It is also the Feast of Pentecost celebrated by all Catholics. Papa says that he had a feeling today was going to be different. And did it turn out to be indeed. In ways that he would not have expected or have been prepared for. Papa said that the day started off like any other typical Sunday. He had awoken in fair spirits to confront another mortal day. Little did he know what was in store for him.

It all started during Mass today at St Mary's of the Angels. We had gone there like we usually do, with Godpa and Godma. Papa said that it was halfway through the Mass when he was abruptly ambushed by his emotions. As the Our Father was being sung, a sudden wave of sorrow overtook him, and he found himself tearing inconsolably. He doesn't know why his emotions had decided to stage a coup today. He was dumfounded. This had never happened before, and there was no rational reason why it should have happened today. It was as if his heart had usurped his brain. Papa said the loss of control was frightening. He felt embarressed. But could not stop the sadness or the tears from flowing freely. As a typical male who is not used to exhibiting his emotions in public very much, it was freaky. Papa said that such emotions were usually reserved for the privacy of his own room late at nights. But at that point in time, it felt like a dam had burst and the proverbial floodgates had been let loose by unseen forces. He could not explain it. Only that he was utterly overwhelmed by it. The sudden wave of sadness, the intense pain and the gushing memories of mummy, were all too much for his tired, worn out defences. Papa says that it was as if mummy had been there with God, sitting beside him today, and speaking in words that only his heart could hear, but not his mind. It was ironic that today's sermon by Father John Paul was about the gift of Tongues. A gift bestowed upon Jesus's disciples on Pentecost when the Holy Spirit descended upon them from Heaven, fifty days after his resurrection. Papa is not one to usually attach any significance to these events, being the scientist that he is. But papa muses that it was as if the Holy Spirit had touched his heart to release his emotions freely on this Pentecostal Sunday. Papa wonders if it was the sadness of mummy that he was also experiencing today, for it was surely very profound. Perhaps it was mummy's way of consoling him that she was there with him too. Papa also remembers that during this crisis of emotions, he had felt an uncontrollable urge to pick up the Church Hymnal and leaf through the words of all the hymns. Papa is a particularly confused man today. For the rest of the day, papa says that he has not been feeling his usual self. He says that he is normally able to pull himself out of these emotional ruts. But today, try as he may, he was unable to fend off the waves of tears that punctured his eyes relentlessly, nor stop the pounding of his wailing heart for the rest of the day.

Mummy dearest, I pray that the Holy Spirit imbues us with the wisdom and light of Jesus, so that we may find our way back to your gracious presence again one day.