My dearest Evan,

I’ve been a coward. Your Papa has asked for a while that all of us friends pen down some thoughts of your mummy, and I have really dragged my feet about this, and indeed would not have without his urging. It’s not that I don’t have a wealth of beautiful things to tell you about Mummy, but it’s more that thinking about everything she was to me and to us in my family is really painful and I really didn’t feel up to bringing up all that pain.

But, yesterday, Papa needed some pictures from my albums and so I had to sift through almost 20 years of memories and Mummy’s always smiling, always twinkling eyes shone through in so many of them, through all the years! My earliest memory of your mummy was in secondary school, when she was one of the popular, athletic basketball and track and field girls. She was one of the ‘in’ girls that everyone so admired as not only was she athletic but she was also really smart and doing so well in school. You could always find her at recess time and after school hanging out with her group of friends at the basketball court shooting hoops! She was always in her element there.

Mummy and I really got to know each other in church. She was so very giving in her musical talents and could always be found at church rehearsing for something or other! I sang soprano and so always sat right in front, usually just in front of your mummy and so was always so fearful that she would pick up on all my wrong notes with her especially sharp ears. And you know, she did, and would always cast me a knowing look! I was never as into music as your mummy, indeed I was definitely not as talented to begin with, but your mummy was always patient, always willing to teach and help, even if it meant playing the same bars over and over again. In sports too, I was not as athletic as mummy, only coming into my own with swimming and running much later on in life.

Somehow though, Mummy and I found a way to bond. We had little in common and yet she shared so many facets of my life. Looking back, the way we bonded was by sharing ourselves and our thoughts. We talked and talked about girly stuff, about friends, about relationships, about family, the future, in short, our lives. We spent hours on the phone, sometimes even when Mummy was in the office! I remember so clearly Evan, the time when your Papa came into Mummy’s life. She had been feeling a little empty and lonely for a while even though she kept herself very busy and was not one to sit around and wait for things to happen, and then suddenly, she was excited; she was exhilarated, she was happy!!! She had started on a diving course and had made friends with a bunch of diving enthusiasts and your Papa was one of them. Mummy was sparkling and glowing – much like she was when you were in her tummy! We spent a lot of time talking about Papa. As I was already married by then to Uncle Terence, through Mummy I got to experience again falling in love, which one day, your Papa will tell you all about, I’m sure. Mummy would tell me about what they did together, what they said and finally after about a month, I got to meet your Papa when she brought him over to our house! And Mummy was so proud and happy! Your Mummy knew right from the start that your Papa was the man for her. And her happiness first culminated on 1 January 1997 when Papa and Mummy got married, and again, when Mummy found out that you were in her tummy!

Your Mummy was so many things to all of us in my family. She was Ben’s Godma, and by virtue of that Brendan and Beth’s as well. She was Beth’s beloved piano teacher, who made piano time so much fun! She was my wonderful friend whom I could confide in and know that I would always get good, sound advice from. She was our choir conductor in church, someone who would always be first up to help when we wanted to do some major performance in church. She was someone Uncle Terence could tease about anything. She was Ben, Brendan and Beth’s play mate especially when they were young.

She was so many, many things to us all, but she was above all that, a loving, warm presence in our home and lives. In recent years, your Mummy would come and spend Tuesday mornings with Beth and I, and those are the times I hold on to. I still see her walking in my home, with her very big tummy which was you, her laughter filling the spaces for you know Evan, Mummy laughed especially loudly and smiled especially widely when you were in her tummy!

My photo albums are full of memories of love and lives shared and one day Evan, I would love to be able to share them with you. You will see pictures of your Papa and Mummy, us uncles and aunties looking very fresh and young, of Ben, Brendan, Beth, Andrea, Andrew, Alex and Ari, looking much like you do now. But most of all Evan, you will see the love that we felt towards each other, the community that we created together, a community that you are now very much a member of.

Writing this letter has taken a lot out of me and makes me remember and feel so painfully how much I have lost!

Love always,
Aunty Marjorie