Day 234 (Saturday 25th November 2006): Papa took time off from work for three days this week, so that he could spend more time with me. He took me swimming on Tuesday. And what a great afternoon for swimming it turned out to be. Papa says mummy was looking out for us. The weather was just nice- the lingering warmth of the afternoon sun colliding with the cloudiness of an impending rainstorm. Like a good wine papa said- a tantalizing start with a good finish. The start of the swim is often when I need the most reassurance. I am only scared of the coldness initially, but after that I am like a fish in open water. Or rather a fish out of water. As I haven't yet learned to swim, most of my time is spent half submerged and splashing my energetic arms around.

On Wednesday, we had an appointment with a new physiotherapist, Laura. She is the second physiotherapist that I will be seeing besides the one at Mount Alvernia Hospital. Papa hopes that she will help strengthen the team of people already helping me out. She is very professional and thoughtful in her work. She said that there was much of my development that she assessed as being 'age-appropriate'. So that was very encouraging. My biggest problem at the moment seems to be my muscular control and co-ordination. That was still lagging behind somewhat and would be the focus of her attention for the time being. Laura felt that I needed to become physically stronger than most other kids in order to help me overcome my muscular control issues. Papa feels that it will develop in good time. She introduced some new exercise routines for me to practice with at home. She says that I needed more floor time on the mat as well as be exposed to positions and postures that would stimulate my sense of spatial awareness and allow me to build up my muscle strength. Laura thinks that I am a very spirited and inquisitive young man. She called me a gung-ho 'kay-poh' (which means 'busy-body' translated from the Hokkien dialect).

Papa has been feeling very tired lately. I sense that he may be feeling a little overwhelmed by all the work he has to do for me. I guess he is very concerned that I be given the best possible chance of recovering from the disadvantaged start to life. Doing the worrying and thinking for two parents is starting to wear him down a little. Every time my development is delayed, he worries if it is due to damage I suffered from the birth. Or is it just me taking my sweet time? If it is damage, how bad is it? Will I be able to reverse the effects of the damage? Is he doing enough to help me recover? He also worries that I should be given a good environment in which to do my exercises at home. Which is not easy given that I am only in my temporary home. He worries that there is insufficient supervision of my daily exercise routines- is it done in the proper manner, is it done enough? He also worries that I am not exposed to sufficient parent-bonding time whenever he is working. He is concerned that I am not getting enough quality attention at home. And the list goes on incessantly, like the ticker tape buzzing on a busy day at the stock exchange he says.

He knows that he has to take one step at a time, and he hopes that things will eventually fall into place. He does also realise that he needs to reserve some time for himself, but he says that worrying for me is a full-time addiction which he can't seem to stop. Perhaps that's why he has so many more silvery hairs on his head today. It's moments like these that he really misses mummy. It's like playing the piano with one hand. The missing is so hard to do. Harder than caring for me he says. Not even sleep can steal the pain. Perhaps that's why he hasn't been sleeping very much lately.