Day 38 (Sat 13th May 2006): Papa says that tomorrow will be an especially difficult day for us. It is Mother's Day. A day which celebrates motherhood. A day for thanking mothers for all their love and devotion. It will have a different meaning for us. Papa says that he will explain why when I am older. He says that for now, we will have to be satisfied with just praying for mummy. He says that I need to concentrate on growing well and healthily.

Papa says that my recent upgrade to 120ml of milk was too ambitious. I have not been able to sustain that volume. So my milk has been reduced to 105ml every three hours. Papa says that I will get there eventually with time.

I attended Mass with papa today. We went to the Church of the Holy Spirit. Papa says that he felt very sad when they asked all the mothers to stand up for a special prayer and blessing. He almost wanted to stand up with me for mummy's sake. But he was too overwhelmed. He says it hurt so much as he knew that this would have been a day when mummy would have been smiling one of the happiest smiles since they got married. She would have been a beaming proud mother brimming with love and radiating rapture. I could hear papa crying when he was alone tonight. Mummy dearest, although I never got to know you well, papa's sadness speaks a thousand words. I pray for you on this special day, that you find peace in heaven, and that you will visit us frequently, to wrap us in your loving embrace, to lead me along the righteous path as I grow up. Happy Mother's Day mummy dearest.