Day 47 (Mon 22nd May 2006): An Open Invitation to Submit Tributes to Mummy- Today, papa says that he wanted to do something that will help me understand more about my mummy. He says that he would like to invite anyone who knew my mummy, whether casually or as a long-time friend, to put their thoughts in writing, and email them to papa. He wants to publish tributes to mummy from all her diverse friends, so that I can get to read them as I grow older, and learn more of who my mummy was. Papa says not to worry if it's going to be long, short, tall or fat, just express your feelings, relive your experiences with her, anything that will eliven and enrich my understanding of mummy dearest. If you have nice photos of her taken with you, please send those too. Papa says that this will be like my very own "time capsule" that I can open up in 10 years time.

Please help by sending words and photos if you have them, addressed to me, to papa's email address: fudgeco@gmail.com. Papa says he will slowly publish them on my blog, one by one. If you know of anyone that doesn't know how to use email, but has memories to share, please write to us on their behalf.

Papa says that it is strange how his habits have changed since mummy left us. He now wakes up early in the mornings, which he never used to do before. Mummy used to be the early riser. Papa says that it is almost as if one part of him is hoping to catch mummy there when he wakes up early. The other day, papa said he had a dream about mummy. In it, her face was peaceful and white, but papa said that he could feel an overwhelming sadness streaming from within her. She was surrounded by angelic serenity, yet he could sense her soul crying inconsolably. Papa tried to reach out to her, but could not touch her no matter how hard he tried. He wanted to hold her so badly. To console her. To tell her that he would take good care of me. That she need not worry about us. But it was as if she could not hear or feel him. Papa says he woke up to a silent scream, a pain in his chest and a tear stained pillow.

Mummy dearest, even though you can't be with us, I pray constantly that God will bless us all with the PEACE of his wisdom. That he will reunite us in the warmth of his light and the love of his Holy Spirit.

Grant me, o blessed Lord a mind
In which my thoughts may have a quiet home
Thoughts which now fret like balls of foam
That in a whirlpool each the other chase
Around and round and neither find
An outlet nor a resting place.
-William Wordsworth