Day 40 (Mon 15th May 2006): I received a present today from my Uncle Nick and Aunty Wendy. All the way from England. Thanks! They sent me an engraved stand-up frame to display my first locks of hair and my first fallen tooth. Papa says that I will have to wait awhile longer before I can fill it up with the tooth. Meanwhile, papa says he will see if he can find one of his old baby teeth to fit the holder. I hope he cleans it up first.

My Godpa Douglas wants to celebrate my "stopping medication day". My last dose of sleepy medicine will be this Thursday. I am so looking forward to it. I wonder how we will celebrate.

Papa says that today marks the 40th day of mummy's passing. It still only seems like yesterday. Papa says that '40' has been the number of trial and privation in the Bible. From what papa has read, there were 40 years of Hebrew wandering in the desert, 40 days and nights of the great flood, 40 years of Philistine dominion over Israel, 40 days of Moses on Sinai, 40 days of mourning for Jacob and there are 40 days of Lent. Papa thinks that he will end up like the Hebrews wandering in the desert, mourning for 40 more years. Papa says that the tears flow as much as they did from the very first day. It is not something he says he can control easily these days.

Mummy dearest, I pray that you understand we love you very much. Papa says that he has not had a chance to tell you how much you meant to him, and how much he so loved you. He did not expect you to leave us so quickly. There were many things left unspoken. He wants you to know that even though he never really said it enough, that he loves you more than anyone, and yet so much more than anything. Too many words of love left unspoken, too many deeds of affection left undone. We love you dearly mummy, please understand that the most.