Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask "How are you?"
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

-David L. Weatherford, Slow Dance.

Day 116 (Sun, 30th July 2006):
Letter to Evan from Papa.......

Dearest Evan,
I first met mummy at a post scuba-diving party that our good friends Uncle Ken and Aunty Cynthia had organised. She was with a group of her girlfriends who had been nicknamed "the Aunties". I could only presume that it was because of the loud gaffawing and chattering that went on whenever they got together. They were truly unique and unmistakable in their volume and incessant laughter. Strangely enough, to many general acquaintences, mummy was by nature a reserved and quiet person. She displayed a side of her that few people ever got to see- mischevious and exhuberant- only when in the company of close friends and family. The softer, bubbly and happy-go-lucky persona only surfaced when in the company of those she knew well. Mummy and I got to know each other through years of mutual sporting and social activities. We were fortunate enough to be surrounded by a merry band of friends who shared many similar passions. They were the days of innocence, youth and unbridled energy. Aside from the obligatory partying and meals spent in good cheer together, sporting activites were responsible for cementing the bonds we had developed.

We enjoyed sea sports tremendously. We scuba dived, water skiied and sailed constantly during our more care-free days. Almost every weekend was spent in the open seas. I became very tanned and brown. Unfortunately, mummy didn't tan so well- she only broke out in more freckles. But that never stood in the way of her engaging in outdoor sports. In addition, she had developed a loose knee joint, the price she paid for her more atheletic schooling days. It would require her to have to strap her knee with a splint before any activity. Despite this, she was always a very generous person, game for any sporting challenge put before her. Scuba diving was one of our most enduring passions. It was reflected in our desire to train to an advanced level of diver proficiency as well as in the number of diving holidays we took together. At the beginning, almost all our holidays would be diving escapades. Even as time took its toll on our schedules, we still managed to set aside time enough for at least one diving holiday a year for the most part. We had hoped to share this fervor for the sea with you at some point. That zeal has now been cruelly cut in half.

We also shared the passion for many ball sports. Mainly soccer, tennis, snooker and bowling. Next to sea sports, we enjoyed playing tennis together the most. It was my favorite land sport and she embraced it. She was a good tennis player with a mean forehand for anyone willing to challenge her. Her natural ball-sense was only second to her musical talent. The same couldn't be said for her choice of English Premiership football teams though. Despite our differences in opinion about which team was the best, ours was always a good spirited and light hearted rivalry. I was the odd one out in her family, all of whom supported Manchester United. I was a loyal and lonely Liverpool fan. Needless to say, the framework for many vociferous and contentious sessions watching football together had been set. Weekends would never be the same.

Mummy was also a born athlete. She was a school track and field athlete in her younger days. Her prowess tested and proven by the number of medals that had she won in her school competitions. Her continued love for the sport as she 'outgrew' it, was reflected in her enthusiasm when it came to watching any form of atheletics on television. You would find her glued to the television whenever the Olympics Games or even our humble Asian Games were being broadcast.

There was one sport however, that I did not share the same enthusiasm with her, no matter how hard I tried. That was basketball. Your mum loved the sport. I wished I could have shared her interest for it more. You could tell just by her voice and perky spirits how much passion she had reserved for it. It is a shame she never got a chance to share it with you. Aunties Sheena and Prisca will be the best people to fill you in on her basketball exploits. They were her schoolmates, basketball team mates and 'general-after-school-partners-in-crime' as I have been told. Nothing paid testimony to her love for basketball more than the way she lived it. Your mummy had been banned from playing basketball by her mother, your grandmother, as it was deemed too risky a sport for a promising musician's precious hands and fingers. But mummy continued to play it in secret. This was a courageous and very brave act. For if truth be told, your grandmother is one person whom you did not want to anger. For your mummy to have risked incurring this tempestuous wrath, spoke volumes for her unwavering deep desire and love for the sport.

The other sport which your mummy and I played much together was bowling. She was a lot better at it than me. During her heyday of bowling, she was representing clubs and playing in tournaments. She was winning many prizes at one stage of her bowling 'career'- fridges, electrical appliances and cash started rolling in. So much so that I once quipped that if she continued her winning streak, I could finally afford to retire. She made sure that that bubble was burst very quickly. She bowled as she lived her life- with verve, steely calculations, passion, immense success, unconditional love and great elegance.

As I reflect on our journey together, I have come to realise that the passion and bonds we shared during sports, mirrored much of the other aspects of our life together. Everything we did was met with a twinkle of the eyes between us and a sparkle of adventurism. It was a true hands-on, in-your-face passion for trying anything new, which we shared deeply with each other. There were so many more adventures that we had dreamed about together. She was always game to try new things, and that was one of the many things which I loved most about her and which I miss so dearly. It was a short but rich journey together. No amount of consoling will ever be able to take away the pain of our cherished memories. The future promised so much more. Evan, I miss your mummy very much, and no matter what God may have in store for the both of us in the future, there will always be a large weeping hole in my heart until the day, if and when we are reunited. I can only hope that I will do justice to the life she led, in the way in which I am able to bring you up. It will be a hard act to follow.

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if darkness & corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget & smile
Than that you should remember & be sad.

- Christina Rossetti, Remember.

Day 113 (Thur 27th July 2006): I met Aunty Polly today. She works at Mount Alvernia Hospital and she is a physiotherapist. She did an assessment of my physical development. My Godma Elena helped to get us an appointment. Papa said that it was so we could learn more about how to make me grow better and stronger. Aunty Polly told papa that the right side of my body- my hands and legs- was somewhat stiffer than my left side. It was nothing pronounced and was just something for me to work on as I grew bigger. She kept pulling me onto my tummy. I didn't like that at all. I cried. She kept holding me in these funny positions. I was starting to feel very uncomfortable. I was not a happy kappy. She tried to make me happier by bringing out some toys. One of them made a lot of noise. It was irritating. I wasn't impressed. I kept asking papa if I really had to come back and see her in two weeks time. Papa gave me a look that said yes. Aunty Polly prescribed some daily exercises that I had to do and some massaging of my right arms and legs. The exercise on my tummy is no fun. Papa said it reminded him of his army days. Now I get my own exercise mat to roll on. Papa was complaining at how expensive the massage gel was. He had to buy the French, non-oily, hypo-allergenic massage gel. This is to prevent the rashes on my face from worsening.

After the morning torture session, papa brought me back to my home, where he and mummy used to stay. He had to fetch some stuff and also help to maintain the place with Aunty Mely's help. I could feel mummy's presence. The sounds and smells were familiar. Papa brought me around the house, showing me all the things he and mummy shared. I could sense his sadness. He was putting on a brave face for me. He tried to amuse me by jogging me around the dining room. That tickled me very much and made me laugh. He was so thrilled to hear me laugh. It was my very first spontaneous laugh for papa. He looked charmed. Papa hopes that I will grow up with a great sense of humour to accompany my hearty laugh. He said that we will make a great team then. Papa placed me onto his and mummy's bed for the very first time. I felt peaceful and comfortable. Somehow it all seemed so familiar. I felt at ease on the soft comforter. It was as if I had been here before. The only thing missing was mummy's singing and music in the background. Papa was smiling at me and tearing at the same time, as he cuddled and cooed with me on the bed. I think he was remembering.

Mummy dearest, I wonder when papa will be strong enough to come back home. I look forward to that day. But I think that he is still finding it difficult to be surrounded by all your things. He misses you very much. I will be patient and wait for him to be stronger. Don't worry mummy, I will take care of papa. You take care of yourself.

Shards of bitter sorrow raining down
Impaling unconsolable raging hearts
Crimson moon clouded by a sagging frown
Casting sullen shadows from a tormentful past

Splintered hearts litter the infinite sky
Twinkling in the dark, so close and yet so far
Lives cruelly interrupted by distant cries
like the fading trails of shooting stars

Where I wonder is my love of loves this lonely night
Will she be waiting in the shadows of the passing clouds
Dancing with the silky wind by the glowing moonlight
Or perhaps frolicking with nightingales wrapped in a choral shroud

Fantasy locked in battle with reality by a wistful sigh
What price do I pay to join you in this dream so eagerly
For you have vanquished certainty by watching death die
As you now languish in the Land of Immortality

-Colin Ong.sg, Death Dies.

Day 111 (Tue 25th July 2006): Today marks the start of the Chinese Ghost Month (click link) according to papa. Some of my aunties are telling papa to be careful when bringing me out at night as there is a superstition that says "children are... advised to return home early and not to wander around alone at night. This belief is due to the reason that the wandering ghosts might possess children." Some say that I should also be given a cap to wear when I go out at night as the superstitions warn that the evil spirits enter the unprotected heads of innocent infant souls. I think they are just saying that to scare me. Papa says that this year's Ghost Month actually lasts for two calendar months due to some crack in the astrological time-space continuum or other, whatever.

This morning, Godma Audrey brought me to see her reflexologist, Aunty Josephine. Mummy used to see her regularly too. She gave my body and feet a very specific massage. It was meant to help me relax and to improve my muscle tone. It felt ticklish but sooo good.
Aunty Mely was also taught how to do it at home. I will be going back to see Aunty Josephine again soon. Papa is planning to expose me to other types of massage in the months to come- infant massage and physiotherapy. He says that there is nothing to lose. It can only help to improve my muscle tone and hopefully stimulate my development. But he says he will draw the line at luxury spa therapy.

You are the one who makes me happy
When everything else turns to grey
Yours is the voice that wakes me mornings
And sends me out into the day
You are the crowd that sits quiet
Listening to me
And all the mad sense that I make
You are one of the few things worth remembering
And since its all true
How could anyone mean more to me than you...
You are my heart and my soul
My inspiration...

-Carpenters, You.

Day 109 (Sun, 23 July 2006): The Philharmonic Chamber Choir of Singapore is presenting a concert called "Night Songs" (click link) on the 4th and 5th of August 2006 at the Esplanade Recital Studio. This concert is a dedication to mummy, in memory of her many musical contributions. Papa says that thoughtful members of the TPCC played a significant part in mummy's life for many years. She loved them all very much, and many happy times were spent together. She made many dear and wonderful friends while singing with the TPCC.

Papa will be attending the concert and would like to encourage as many people to support this concert. It promises to be a very emotional and inspiring evening. Papa says that he hopes he will be strong enough to stand up to the memories. He expects them to come flooding back with a vengeance after successfully supressing them for the last few weeks. Papa looked sad and apprehensive. The TPCC was a large part of mummy's life. There were many strong memories associated with the group and their music. She was part of their alto group. It was truly a labour of love for her. She traveled far and wide with the group as they participated in overseas competitions and concerts to much accolade. Many long gruelling hours were spent practising for their challenging concerts and CD recordings. It brought much happiness to her. It brought many vivid and agonising memories for papa. He cried more tonight than in the entire last week. He wonders how he will survive the actual night.

Mummy dearest, I wish I could be by papa's side on that night, to hold his hand and tell him it's all right. But I can't for the time being. So I pray that you will stand by his side that evening and hug him tight. Bolster his strength and courage with your love and compassion. Pacify his heart with your spiritual peace and help ease his pain with your heavenly kiss.

For a season there must be pain-
For a little, little space
I shall lose the sight of her face,
Take back the old life again
While She is at rest in her place.
For a season this pain must endure,
For a little, little while
I shall sigh more ofen than smile
Till Time shall work me a cure, And the pitiful days beguile.
For that season we must be apart,
For a little length of years,
Till my life's last hours nears,
And, above the beat of my heart,
I hear Her voice in my ears.
But I shall not understand-
Being set on some later love,
Shall not know her for whom I strove,
Till she reach me forth her hand,
Saying, 'Who but I have the right?'
And out of a troubled night
Shall draw me safe to the land.

- Rudyard Kipling, The Widower.

Day 107 (Fri, 21st July 2006): I developed a fever on Thursday night. My temperature went up to 38.2 deg Centigrade before it was brought down with some panadol. Papa said it was due to the vaccinations I had been given that day. They had been expecting it. I should be ok today.
Mama and Kongkong came to visit me in the afternoon. Mama tries to sing to me. Kongkong always looks on amusingly.

How stern are the woes of the desolate mourner
As he bends in still grief o'er the hallowed bier,
As enanguished he turns from the laugh of the scorner,
And drops to perfection's remembrance a tear;
When floods of despair down his pale cheeks are streaming,
When no blissful hope on his bosom is beaming,
Or, if lulled for a while, soon he starts from his dreaming,
And finds torn the soft ties to affection so dear.
Ah, when shall day dawn on the night of the grave,
Or summer succeed to the winter of death?
Rest awhle, hapless victim! and Heaven will save
The spirit that hath faded away with the breath.
Eternity points, in its amaranth bower
Where no clouds of fate o'er the sweet prospect lour,
Unspeakable pleasure, of goodness the dower,
When woe fades away like the mist of the heath.

- Percy Bysshe Shelley, Bereavement

Day 106 (Thu 20th July 2006): Papa brought me for a very early morning walk at the Botanic Gardens yesterday. Aunty Mely came along too. We got there at 7.15am and had a good hour's exercise walking around the park. It was refreshing. We ended with a hearty breakfast at the new Taman Serasi food court. Papa likes coming to the park. It is visual therapy that also helps him clear his mind. I actually stayed awake for most of the walk. So I finally got to enjoy it too.

Today, papa and my Godma's brought me in to Mount Alvernia Hospital to see Uncle Simon. We paid a visit to the loving Sisters from the Pastoral Care unit and the kind nurses of the Neonatal ICU. They were thrilled to see me again. Nurse manager Tay was there to greet and cradle me. She was impressed by how much I had grown and changed. Sister Christine was in the chapel when we found her. She had just finished helping out for the daily hospital Mass. She was glad to see that Jesus and mummy were by my side all this while.

Papa said that I was on my best behavior today. Uncle Simon examined me and was very happy with my progress too. He said that I was developing very well. I could track sounds and respond to visual stimulation. I have also begun to turn over on my side. In fact, papa and Aunty Germaine were so thrilled when they put me on my tummy and I managed to turn over on my back all on my own! That was a momentous occasion according to papa. I have also started to vocalise more. Papa says I have become very talkative lately. He and Aunty Mely were tickled pink when I lay on my recliner and talked to them non-stop for almost ten minutes. I was regaling them with stories about my fun times in mummy's tummy and how safe I felt. I liked the part when I told them about how towards the later months, I used to play with her by kicking her tummy from the inside. I could hear her complaining to me about how uncomfortable it made her feel- but I could also feel that she was so happy through the loving tones in her admonishments. Boy was I having fun jabbering away last night. Papa said that it must have been all the sugars in the medications that were stimulating my noise box. He said that I sounded like a kitten caterwauling in pleasure and playfulness. He was happy for me.

I now weigh 5.62kg and my height is 63cm. Uncle Simon did a physical check-up for me and was happy with what he found. My heart sounds were good and my lungs were clear. My muscle tone was normal. Then it came time for the unpleasantness in my relations with him. Even papa was apprehensive. I cried. But only for a short while. Papa and Godma's were all very proud with how I acquitted myself today. I took it like a man. Papa says it was a sign of maturity. This time around, the vaccinations did not overwhelm me. I had two jabs, one on either leg. I was a brave boy. Their names were '5-in-1' and 'Pneumococcal'. They were formidable foes, but I managed to defeat them. I will face them again in the future I am sure. But for now, I am victorious! Tally ho!

She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up
Till I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know

And though she's so far away
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holdin' on

So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breakin my heart
Don't wanna let her go...

...Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all the time I act so brave
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so...

...And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Heaven knows

-Rick Price, Heaven Knows

I was dead
I came alive
I was tears
I became laughter

All because of love
When it arrived
My temporal life
From then on
Changed to eternal

Love said to me
You are not
crazy enough
You don't
fit this house

I went and
became crazy
Crazy enough
to be in chains

Love said
You are not
intoxicated enough
You don't
fit the group

I went and
got drunk
Drunk enough
to overflow
with light-headedness

Love said
You are still
too clever
Filled with
imagination and skepticism

I went and
became gullible
and in fright
pulled away
from it all

Love said
You are a candle
attracting everyone
gathering every one
around you

I am no more
a candle spreading light
I gather no more crowds
and like smoke
I am all scattered now

Love said
You are a teacher
You are a head
and for everyone
You are a leader

I am no more
Not a teacher
Not a leader
Just a servant
to your wishes

Love said
You already have
your own wings
I will not give you
more feathers

And then my heart
pulled itself apart
and filled to the brim
With a new light
Overflowed with fresh life

Now even the heavens
are thankful that
because of love
I have become
the giver of light

-Rumi, I Was Dead

Day 103 (Mon, 17th July 2006): I have started to ask for more milk recently. Aunty Mely has been feeding me the occasional 180 ml of milk when I ask her to. I still feed every three hours. That's because I usually get grumpy if I don't. On the weekend, Aunty Michele and Uncle Alan invited papa, Aunty Mely and me over to their house for dinner with some close friends. It was one of the few times that papa has agreed to bring me out so late at night. He said he was 'testing the waters'. I didn't stay awake long enough to enjoy myself though. I was in Slumber Land the whole night through. At least I was well behaved.

My cough has started to improve. The antibiotics have stopped and I am now only taking the cough mixture. Papa says that I am proving to be a strong boy. As strong as mummy was when it came to fighting off infections. She seldom fell sick says papa. It was always papa that caught the bug very easily off other people. Mummy used to always tease papa about it. He is glad I seem to be following mummy in that respect. Anyway, papa hopes that I will be strong enough to see Uncle Simon on Thursday for my vaccinations. Papa is hoping that I will not cry too much. I will try and be stronger this time around. I hope the needle is very small.

All day I think about it, then at night I say it.
Where did I come from, and what am I supposed to be doing?
I have no idea.
My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that,
and I intend to end up there.

This drunkenness began in some other tavern.
When I get back around to that place,
I'll be completely sober. Meanwhile,
I'm like a bird from another continent, sitting in this aviary.
The day is coming when I fly off,
but who is it now in my ear who hears my voice?
Who says words with my mouth?

Who looks out with my eyes? What is the soul?
I cannot stop asking.
If I could taste one sip of an answer,
I could break out of this prison for drunks.
I didn't come here of my own accord, and I can't leave that way.
Whoever brought me here, will have to take me home.

This poetry. I never know what I'm going to say. I don't plan it. When I'm outside the saying of it, I get very quiet and rarely speak at all.

Rumi, Whoever Brought Me Here (Translated by Coleman Barks)

The day is done, and the darkness
Falls from the wings of night,
As a feather is wafted downward
From an eagle in his flight.
I see the lights of the village
Gleam through the rain and the mist,
And a feeling of sadness comes o'er me
That my soul cannot resist:
A feeling of sadness and longing,
That is not akin to pain,
And resembles sorrow only
As the mist resembles the rain.
Come, read to me some poem,
Some simple and heartfelt lay,
That shall soothe this restless feeling,
And banish the thoughts of day.
Not from the grand old masters,
Not from the bards sublime,
Whose distant footsteps echo
Through the corridors of Time.
For, like strains of martial music,
Their mighty thoughts suggest
Life's endless toil and endeavor;
And to-night I long for rest.
Read from some humbler poet,
Whose songs gushed from his heart,
As showers from the clouds of summer,
Or tears from the eyelids start;
Who, through long days of labor,
And nights devoid of ease,
Still heard in his soul the music
Of wonderful melodies.
Such songs have power to quiet.
The restless pulse of care,
And come like the benediction
That follows after prayer.
Then read from the treasured volume
The poem of thy choice,
And lend to the rhyme of the poet
The beauty of thy voice.
And the night shall be filled with music
And the cares, that infest the day,
Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs,
And as silently steal away.

Henry Longfellow, The Day is Done

Day 100 (Fri, 14th July 2006): Today marks 100 days since mummy went up to Heaven. It has been a very sad, long and lonely 100 days for me. Papa feels as if it has only been 100 seconds. I wrote a poem for mummy dearest today:

I wish I knew where my mummy is today
For I would like to hug her for one hundred days
To tell her how much I love her in so many ways
But I know that somehow this is not to be
For there are so many things that I still cannot see
All I know is that she has sacrificed much for me
I pray to God with all my heart and soul
That he take very good care of her for me
That she be kept happy and never be left lonely
To cover her in petals of flowers as far as the eye can see
To surround her with the music from a Choir of Angels
To embrace her with love so profound and deep
That her pain will be washed away so that she will not weep
I pray that the future will come now and that time will pass quickly
So that we may all be reunited as one joyful family
Never to be separated again but bound in Heaven for eternity.

We are all with you in spirit mummy. Rest in peace.
Love always,
Your little puppy Evan

I tried in vain to drive myself insane
I talk to myself but I don't listen
I found out what I was missing
I miss talking in the dark
Without you, I'm not conversational
Without the sense of the occasional
Without you, I miss talking in the dark...

-Elvis Costello, Talking in the Dark

Day 99 (Thu 13th July 2006): My cousins Owen and Oliver left for Switzerland today. They went with my Uncle Adrian and Aunty Iris. Uncle Adrian will be working there for two long years. Papa was at Changi Airport to say goodbye. I was too sick to go. I will miss them all. Papa said that the whole family felt sad to see them leave. I hope I can visit my cousins soon.

My Uncle Paul and Aunty Cecily also left for home today. They came to give me a big hug before they left. I am supposed to visit them in Australia when I am older and stronger.

The antibiotics have helped to improve my cough. I am coughing less, but it is still a very stubborn cough. At least I am sleeping more comfortably now. Papa says I may get to go and see Uncle Simon for my vaccinations next week. I feel my cough worsening and my temperature rising all of a sudden. Mummy dearest, thank you for looking after me this past week. Mummy's good friend Aunty Mame has arranged for a Mass offering at St Ignatius Church for mummy tomorrow at the 6pm Mass. Please help to pray to Jesus to take care of my mummy for me.

Flaunt your proud head, moon.
Nightingale, arise And sing.
Wake, Lotus, spread your petals wide.
My lady who has vanquished all your pride
Is gently sleeping, silent, with closed eyes.

- Anon (Sanskrit)

Day 98 (Wed. 12th July 2006): My cough is getting worse. I can sometimes cough for 5 minutes non-stop. It feels like my lungs are coming out. I feel very uncomfortable. Sometimes I cough so much I feel so tired that I cough myself to sleep. Godma Elena has started me on more yucky medicine. I am now taking some 'ventolin' to help me breath easier, as well as some antibiotics twice a day. So that's four types of medicine that I am now taking, including my cough mixture and my mucolytic phlegm buster. Papa says it will set back my vaccinations longer than he expected. I will probably be one month behind schedule for my jabs. That's ok with me. I wish I can get better soon. Papa says I must fight the bugs and get stronger. He says that I am a brave boy, and that mummy will be by my side helping me to get better.

Day 96 (Mon, 10th July 2006): Yes, I have been having a bad cough lately. I have been drinking some cough medicine which makes me a little drowsy. Luckily the fever is not high. The rashes on my face are still there, but we are applying medicine and moisturiser and some days it looks like it's getting better, on other days it looks worse. I guess it should clear up as I get older. The flaking skin on my head which papa calls 'cradle cap' is also still there. I get a massage of olive oil to my scalp half an hour before my baths. It is meant to loosen the flaky skin and help wash it away easily. Otherwise, papa says that my skin will feel itchy and uncomfortable.

My papa took me to walk around Changi Airport Terminal 1 on Sunday morning. I loved looking at the bright lights on the huge ceiling. There were so many lights! I got a neck ache staring at them. Then in the afternoon my Uncle Bernie and Aunty Julie came to visit me. I hadn't seen them for awhile, so that was nice. Papa says that I have been a good boy and that mummy would have been so proud of me. Mummy dearest, wish I had gotten to know you more before you had to leave. Maybe you too can visit me sometime soon. Perhaps when I am in my dreams so that we can spend some time alone. Love you.

The day is surely better than the night?
Or is the night not better than the day?
How can I tell? But this I know is right:
Both are worth nothing when my love's away. -Amaru

The night that's past will not return to me.
The Jumna's floods flow onward to the sea. -Bhartrhari

Day 94, Sat 8th July 2006: Papa says that I am still down with a viral infection. I have a productive cough together with the sniffles and sneezies. There is a low-grade fever which thankfully has not crossed past the 38 degree centigrade mark. My sleep is being interrupted by my coughing sometimes. Must be all that gunk dripping onto and tickling my throat. I feel uncomfortable, but my mood is still good.

Yesterday I had to entertain my Aunty Marjorie. I was chatting to her for a whole hour. Boy did we have plenty to gossip about. I was smiling and just trying to be my charming self with her. Today I got to spend some quality time with papa in the evening while the rest of the family went to church. We walked around the house for almost an hour and a half, as he tried hard to entertain me. His arms must have been pretty sore by the time he put me down. Papa was showing me things, reading books to me and warbling his favorite tunes, mostly off-key. I tried my best to show him my appreciation. Papa was very proud that I was so well behaved. He felt that we were off to a good start. I wonder why his fingers were crossed. Wish I could shake off this cough and cold soon.

The overhead mobile toy in my cot broke down recently. It still plays music, but won't turn around anymore. My Aunty Germaine was kind enough to buy me a new one. Thank you very much Aunty Germaine. I also had a visit from two wonderful Aussie relatives today, Aunty Cecily and Uncle Paul. They came to visit me and play with me. They brought me presents and passed gifts to me from some of my Aussie relatives. Thank you everyone! I love you all.

Mummy, if you are reading this, I miss you very much. Wish you were here.