Day 17 (Sat, 22 April 2006): I am feeding well. I am sleeping well. I am crying more. Papa says his hair is not falling out as much as before.

Papa talks to me when he thinks I am sleeping. He thinks that I cannot hear him. I think he is talking to mummy. He talks to me often. Today Papa told me that he is happy that I am getting better. But it is also giving him more time to think about mummy. So he is also feeling sadder. He says that a part of him has died with mummy. The pain he says, is like a raw wound that will not heal. The emptiness, that of a barren desert. The loneliness is as a sunken ship at the bottom of the deepest ocean. The worst part papa says, is that no matter how many friends gather around him, that he knows he has to walk the long sad tunnel alone. That it will take much time to heal, perhaps an eternity.